No… NO! NOOO! …Why parents say “no!”:
A few month ago there has been a study about this little word: “No!”
They counted, how often parents say “No” per day. Did you reckon with this result?
– More than 200 No´s were counted per child and day!!!
According to our experience this result can be assigned to Germany, too.
But why is it so sad???
Let me try to explain it:
Children do not understand only the word “No”, when we say it! They understand “I am not okay!” or “I am wrong”. They do not divorce between the activity we want them to stop and themselves.
And they do not understand that their wishes (for example a doll…) are something totally different than themselves.
Most of the adults do not remind to this fact any longer.
But what should we do now???
Should we not rebuke our children any longer???
– Of course not!;)
Here are some examples how to say “No” in a different, better way:
“No! You are not allowed to watch tv any longer!!!”
– “Well, I can understand that you want to watch tv now. I can supply that we first have lunch and than you can watch tv for half an hour.”
Or (When a girl wants to have a doll in a store):
“No, I will not buy it!”
“Oh, this doll is really very pretty. When I was a little girl I loved these doll, too! (here we should share our sympathy with our child) But even if I wanted to buy it, there is not enough money to do it. Would it be okay to go to the ice cream parlor after the purchasing department?”
It is better to share our sympathy with our children or offering an alternative.
Well, of course there are situations when the simple “No!” is the better way:
When we want to prevent our children of danger..!!! “Do not run in front of the car!” or “No, do not touch the hotplate!” are short and essential.
So lets try to reduce the No´s in our daily routine;)
Greetings from Germany!